A friend asked me on the down low to post this.

My wife has now started this workout kick like I have never seen before. She looks great!  The workout is so important and nothing comes before exercise. You would think she would want more action in the bedroom. Not. Her hair is always perfect, her nails are always done and she spends more time out of the house. How can I know if she has someone else?  Is this a phase or am I on the way out? Can anyone give me some pointers here, please?

   My first wife was a wonderful person and a good wife. She did not do anything wrong other than work to much and trust me. If that makes any sense. She would work all day and stay at her parents home on the weekends because she had to be up early in the morning to go back to work. It saved her a lot of time on the commute and give her a couple of hours of extra sleep.

   So like a good husband I started to go out with some of my friends on the weekends without my wife. My intentions were never to go out and find a one night special, but it did happen a couple of times. Next thing you know I had a girlfriend and I could make dates on the weekends because my wife was not around. She trusted me to do the right thing while she was out making money for our household. Well as you can see I was not doing the right thing for our marriage and we grew apart.

   She put money in her first priority and I put a good time in my first priority. She made a lot of money and I had a lot of great times without her. The reason I say this because I was not in love with her my wife anymore, she became a habit. I cared for her, I loved her, but I was not in love with her like when we began. We were not the happy couple anymore on the inside and it was troubling and I suppressed it with the good times on the weekends without my wife around. She was a habit that was hard to change because I was to worried about hurting her and telling her that I did not want to be her husband anymore.

   When we did split it was a very sad time for both of us. I will never forget one thing she said to me, "name, I am not the same anymore name, a part of me has died!" It was the truth. A part of both of us did die together that day.

   But the good news is that life is full of new beginnings and delightful surprises. The point I am driving home here is that is if you  are not happy with your spouse (or friend) consider changing your priorities and goals. If you can not make your loved one a #1 priority I think you should reconsider your relationship and decide if any changes are necessary. I know a relationship can become mundane, but if it is just boring you should give it a spark and reconnect.

     One of the top reasons has to be the chase. It is all about the euphoric feeling of wanting something so bad and it can not be yours all of the time.  The feelings of newness, lust and each other wanting to meet at strange places, times of day and night just to be with one another.  This is done secretly so no one knows except for your best friend who you tell to cover for your loss of time occasionally. Your confession you share with your comrade is so exciting for both of you, you relive your feelings when you talk about your secret admirer.  Eventually the new flame slowly fades away or you meet someone else and they are your new pursuit. This is a cycle that just keeps going round and round if you let it take you for a ride. 

   My first wife did not have a sense of humor so we divorced. I had a girlfriend and she did not think it was funny. This is to make light of a messy situation. But for me, the chase was my poison. I could not wait to slide those panties off for the first time. What a thrill! It is about conquering something new. Most men think they are going to go out and meet a girl and get lucky the same day. Not very likely. Here is what I used to do when I met  lady that I wanted to get to know a little better. I would lay the ground work with a non-threatening conversation. The chase had just begun and she doesn't even know it yet. I would take it so slow and easy and usually look to park the car in the garage in 4 to 6 months if you know what I mean.

   I would listen extremely well to everything she would say and make mental notes of her interests and hobbies for future use. A key factor to this game is to NEVER look desperate. You have to appear as if everyone wants to be with you and your time is very limited without being rude or conceded. 

   The reason for me was the chase! It is not so much the destination as it is the journey there...

  

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